designed by the devil?

I had a completely different topic picked out to blog about tonight, but this issue is currently more urgent...my thong is being completely inappropriate!

Why is it that I have purchased 12 pair of exactly the same thong. I started with one and it fit great, it looked great, and was an extrordinary amazing low price that I thought, "Oh, what the heck!"

When a woman finds something that fits, looks great and is affordable, you can bet she will buy at least one of every color available! I know I do! And in this case, I know I did!

So, 12 thongs later, I have to complain about this one pair. Now, every pair I bought was exactly the same size, same exact style, cut, fabric, and although different colors, they are identical. They are all made by the same very reputable retailer, and believe it or not, they are made in the USA. This one, thought, seems to have another agenda!

I could say it rubs me the wrong way, but that isn't the half of it! This one, and it has so little material that "pair" doesn't warrant use, as when speaking of traditional underwear, this one offends. For some inexplicable reason, this pair searches my body for crevices and chasms that are never approached by the others of its ilk. What is it about the melon colored one?

I have thought about this long and hard. I love the color. Melon goes well with my coloring. The cut is exactly the same as every other of the clan of thongs. Believe me when I say that I have matched them up to each other and they are all exactly the same. Secretly I keep hoping that more fabric softener will beat it into submission, so this next wash 5 dryer sheets!

Here's the worst part. Every time I put them on, I know I am going to be accosted by this particular undergarment, and yet I still put it on. Now, I am sure Freud would have some amazing thoughts on this having to do with my lack of nurturing or issues with my grade 6 teacher. I would have to interrupt the good doctor and assure him it had nothing to do with any of those reasons.

Here's why I do not turn it into a cleaning rag: 1) there isn't enough material to actually do any real cleaning; and 2) I feel that if I stop using them for their intended purpose, they will have won! (Again Freud is shaking his head!).

How can one inanimate object have such power? Perhaps the saleslady put the sales tag though just the right part of the elastic to alter the physics that make this item work it's magic. Perhaps it was vexed by a Voodoo priestess.

Perhaps the devil designed this particular one. That's it. That's got to be the reason.